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More Winter
Feb. 5th, 2009 02:27 pma day in winter...quiet moods and exploring
walking from the library- snowflake delights
exploring old spaces...love the feel of this place off-season. creepy and calm. ghostwhispers.
and i simply must show off my fabulous winter mane. I feel so lion-y, do I look lion-y? or farrah-y? faux fur hood of the snuggly down coat that has made this winter much more fun and endurable.
moments and moods
Studio sleepy
May. 19th, 2008 11:39 amHome stretch...working hard to finish my works in progress in time to show in upcoming exhibits...late nights in studio. tired. but much coming together before my eyes... resin pours and painting by day and and drawing at the kitchen table by night. Facebook and Myspace keep me company and slightly tapped in to the socio-psychological weather yet distract as well. it is now but it is always. I rest beside the pyramid and watch the sifting sands.
Four days straight of dayjob makes D a moody gal. The last day of it(yesterday) I felt like a trapped animal. Got home with so much frustrated energy that in lieu of screaming or crying (both options considered) ..I changed into running shoes and took off down the street, which ended up in a really nice walk with B through the nature preserve.
Today SO Happy to be finally back in the studio and to have my headspace back. Library and picking up panels (yay at long last)...then Painting and music all afternoon/night.
Today SO Happy to be finally back in the studio and to have my headspace back. Library and picking up panels (yay at long last)...then Painting and music all afternoon/night.
as the sun disappears I am back and forth between studio and kitchen table...listening to Cibo Matto, working on art ...lemon vodka moods...thoughts..
am applying to residencies...wanting to go deeper into certain explorations in my art...longing for the longer chunks of focus and intensity... we shall see...throwing it out there into the universe..
Last night we watched 'The Lives of Others'...which I was impressed by...
have been working at the shop, reading.
drawing and embroidering microorganisms
flickr, myspace, emails
oatmeal raisin cookies
am applying to residencies...wanting to go deeper into certain explorations in my art...longing for the longer chunks of focus and intensity... we shall see...throwing it out there into the universe..
Last night we watched 'The Lives of Others'...which I was impressed by...
have been working at the shop, reading.
drawing and embroidering microorganisms
flickr, myspace, emails
oatmeal raisin cookies
First Snow!
Dec. 2nd, 2007 11:34 amWoke to a beautiful snow flurry outside my window.....big smile.
Perfect day for it thank you as I have the house to myself and am doing laundry and wiring art and quiet things inside. I put on my Emilie Simon CD...my most 'winter-ish' music (thank you julie)with eerie bells and sounds of crushed snow...
Cloud in My Hand
Made my coffee and spent a little time with my bookjournal...much as I am so excited to go to Miami for the fairs I am always a little wary of not having time to Process life at the slower pace I love.. I'm going to try to really enjoy down there...not try to make it to all the gazillion fairs...just a few at a slower pace..really try to See some art and talk with artists....and hang around the Aqua one most of all. be present.It's a hope anyway. I might get swept up in running all around. And that's ok too. Just going to flow with it.and try to really enjoy.
Perfect day for it thank you as I have the house to myself and am doing laundry and wiring art and quiet things inside. I put on my Emilie Simon CD...my most 'winter-ish' music (thank you julie)with eerie bells and sounds of crushed snow...
Cloud in My Hand
Made my coffee and spent a little time with my bookjournal...much as I am so excited to go to Miami for the fairs I am always a little wary of not having time to Process life at the slower pace I love.. I'm going to try to really enjoy down there...not try to make it to all the gazillion fairs...just a few at a slower pace..really try to See some art and talk with artists....and hang around the Aqua one most of all. be present.It's a hope anyway. I might get swept up in running all around. And that's ok too. Just going to flow with it.and try to really enjoy.
in my moods in the quiet house...working on my art...lost in thought...remembering other years...mysteries and muses and mental labyrinths.ongoing stories. cycles. again I'm preparing for the art fairs in Miami..this time I'll have works at the Aqua Art Fair.again so many things. I am a calendar clock of seasons and moods. in the studio playing with little worlds.
resin pour test on sample...temperature is so cold...worried. the real deal big pour will have to happen soon.
listening to Pj Harvey's latest CD over and over - White Chalk. love it.
sample/listen: http://www.myspace.com/pjharvey
sip a glass of red wine.
play Bjork's Vespertine.
return to paint markers and memory mappings and the kitchen table
only 3:30 and it feels like dusk.
bjork always knows somehow
resin pour test on sample...temperature is so cold...worried. the real deal big pour will have to happen soon.
listening to Pj Harvey's latest CD over and over - White Chalk. love it.
sample/listen: http://www.myspace.com/pjharvey
sip a glass of red wine.
play Bjork's Vespertine.
return to paint markers and memory mappings and the kitchen table
only 3:30 and it feels like dusk.
bjork always knows somehow
I'm TRYING
Nov. 9th, 2007 07:46 pmfor the sake of sanity
I'm trying
TO EMBRACE and REVEL in THE ABSURDITY OF LIFE and my own contradictory character complexities
My need to understand/organize everything in my head is really making me a moody wreck
and I'm currently sick of it. need more flow.
Life, it's odd, it's complex and multilayered, there is no ground...and I can dance with it.
I'm trying
TO EMBRACE and REVEL in THE ABSURDITY OF LIFE and my own contradictory character complexities
My need to understand/organize everything in my head is really making me a moody wreck
and I'm currently sick of it. need more flow.
Life, it's odd, it's complex and multilayered, there is no ground...and I can dance with it.
trying to remember to breathe
Aug. 18th, 2006 11:39 amthe period monsters have me. cheery and light has become stress and overwhelming. Juggling situational complexity exhausts. Job depresses. Anxiety about responsibilities, opportunities, debt, health, organization. On edge and the verge of tears over everything and nothing. The feeling of things closing in, trapping. The usual. Thank the lordy it's always temporary and I can recognize it as only one facet of an ever spinning gem. But. I'm in it. It's the record playing right now.
Feeling: run away. spend day (week, year!) under a tree listening to nature. fuck it all.
Logic: avoidance doesn't make deadlines go away, just opportunity. Opportunity for so many good things, things linked to self-realization and fulfillment of potential and purpose in life.
ergh.
But the air wafting through the open window is sweet with cut grass....and that's damn nice.
May I find a balance in this day. May we all. One gifted day at a time.
*sigh*
muchlove,
D
Feeling: run away. spend day (week, year!) under a tree listening to nature. fuck it all.
Logic: avoidance doesn't make deadlines go away, just opportunity. Opportunity for so many good things, things linked to self-realization and fulfillment of potential and purpose in life.
ergh.
But the air wafting through the open window is sweet with cut grass....and that's damn nice.
May I find a balance in this day. May we all. One gifted day at a time.
*sigh*
muchlove,
D
Thankgoodness...something popped today. The murkymoods that have been clouding me and the lack of motivation.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to walk around like that. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to waste away in soulsucking job. It's a trap. I haven't figured it out yet...how to do it, how to make a living...but this isn't the way. I have too much to give in this life to get caught in a trap that barely pays the bills, does nothing good for the world and saps all my energy. I've created this situation with selfdoubt and SOmehow I'm getting out. I'm going to do what I came here for...explode with creativity and help make good things happen. I've got a ton of stuff up my sleeve, world. And it's going to be fun whooeeEE. No time to waste not being myself. WHo knows how much time we've got here. Crying shame if I don't give it my best shot.
Finally a good day in the studio...got into a flow...windows open, Cibo Matto Viva La Woman on repeat, repeat. Resin pour on 6 baby pieces I've been working so slowly on.
Ideas, ideas and more ideas....I've got no money but I'm going to buy art materials anyway. Spring has sprung.. I can feel it in my bones...and I remember what it's like to paint with a breeze coming through the studio. It's fucking marvelous.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to walk around like that. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to waste away in soulsucking job. It's a trap. I haven't figured it out yet...how to do it, how to make a living...but this isn't the way. I have too much to give in this life to get caught in a trap that barely pays the bills, does nothing good for the world and saps all my energy. I've created this situation with selfdoubt and SOmehow I'm getting out. I'm going to do what I came here for...explode with creativity and help make good things happen. I've got a ton of stuff up my sleeve, world. And it's going to be fun whooeeEE. No time to waste not being myself. WHo knows how much time we've got here. Crying shame if I don't give it my best shot.
Finally a good day in the studio...got into a flow...windows open, Cibo Matto Viva La Woman on repeat, repeat. Resin pour on 6 baby pieces I've been working so slowly on.
Ideas, ideas and more ideas....I've got no money but I'm going to buy art materials anyway. Spring has sprung.. I can feel it in my bones...and I remember what it's like to paint with a breeze coming through the studio. It's fucking marvelous.
excrutiatingly alive. so sensitive to everything...so full....drinking in the changes in the light. music. this realm. inner/outer, is where I wish I could connect with others...but it is as fragile as a thin bubble of glass around me. I reach out..and it seems it will shatter....but perhaps a few typed words will make it out with fragrance attached...
Dusk. inside and out
Dusk. inside and out
Cups of Movie Sorrow anyone?
Dec. 12th, 2005 12:06 pmAnd in keeping with my penchant for imbibing the least cheery of films....recent rentals have been: Dare mo shiranai/Nobody Knows, a beautiful Japanese film about abandoned children that had me bawling in the bathroom midway. ugh. UGH. and then I 'lighten things up' with The Saddest Music in the World .lol ;).
which ok, was in fact a comedy of sorts...but so truly truly bizarre, a surreal comedy ON sorrow. ( i just might have picked it up just to see my dear lil Anais (Maria de Medieros)again, one can only watch Henry and June oh say fifty or so times, right?...ahem;). Think I'll go listen to the Frida soundtrack or some nice fado now to cheer up.lol. join me?
which ok, was in fact a comedy of sorts...but so truly truly bizarre, a surreal comedy ON sorrow. ( i just might have picked it up just to see my dear lil Anais (Maria de Medieros)again, one can only watch Henry and June oh say fifty or so times, right?...ahem;). Think I'll go listen to the Frida soundtrack or some nice fado now to cheer up.lol. join me?
Moodcloudbreak
Jun. 12th, 2005 12:51 amWhew. I've been trying to deal with my moods...terrible terrible moods. Been a rough few days in that department. Feeling Overwhelmed and like things are falling apart and I am just falling too far behind in everything. Not wanting to do anything. Wanting to disconnect. From everyone..and from all tasks and responsibilities and group projects I'd undertaken, wanting to just Quit, no art installations, no wedding planning, nothing.Wanting to run away, or under the bed, or something.Absolutely Miserable. Trying to run away from my own spiralling echoing worries and yet everywhere I turned there I was. I couldn't sit still, couldn't focus, couldn't get anything done.Tears. (geez if this is just PMS lordy it's Bad, definitely chemical/hormonal.)I tried to appease my demons over the days, trying everything at different times...( read more )
Tired of this 'busyness'. So much to do, so much really Worth doing...but so much to just breathe in and savor that I've been missing.
I finally took morning moments outside on the back patio with coffee and bookjournal in the warm sunnysunsun. *DEEP BREATHS* SOOOOO blissful to just sit, watch, listen and appreciate. The quiet punctuated only by birdsong and birdchatter (those guys can talk! But they do it so Musically.. since I don't understand their language I'm not offended by the gossip;) Watching the activities of robins and cardinals and blue jays..jump, hop, stare...PECK...and...myohmy- GOOD OMEN: the yellow birds of happiness are here!! THREE of them! (I always took these critters to be little messengers of cheer-up joy ever since the one visiting me in Cancun daily when I was being an exhausted nanny).
This to me is heaven. I love people...but I need to balance it with frequent periods of peace, quiet and solitude.
Replenish. Nourish. I think this book: Suburban Safari: A Year on the Lawn would delight me right about now. Gotta keep an eye out for it at the library.
In other realms I'm working in layers...becoming part of/participating in various networks..attending lectures and town meetings....listening and feeling out where pieces of the puzzle fit and amplify...it's fascinating. As in art so in life. Taking different zoom views of the systems and organisms I am a part of and trying to communicate what I see. Imagining and Planting seeds...
I finally took morning moments outside on the back patio with coffee and bookjournal in the warm sunnysunsun. *DEEP BREATHS* SOOOOO blissful to just sit, watch, listen and appreciate. The quiet punctuated only by birdsong and birdchatter (those guys can talk! But they do it so Musically.. since I don't understand their language I'm not offended by the gossip;) Watching the activities of robins and cardinals and blue jays..jump, hop, stare...PECK...and...myohmy- GOOD OMEN: the yellow birds of happiness are here!! THREE of them! (I always took these critters to be little messengers of cheer-up joy ever since the one visiting me in Cancun daily when I was being an exhausted nanny).
This to me is heaven. I love people...but I need to balance it with frequent periods of peace, quiet and solitude.
Replenish. Nourish. I think this book: Suburban Safari: A Year on the Lawn would delight me right about now. Gotta keep an eye out for it at the library.
In other realms I'm working in layers...becoming part of/participating in various networks..attending lectures and town meetings....listening and feeling out where pieces of the puzzle fit and amplify...it's fascinating. As in art so in life. Taking different zoom views of the systems and organisms I am a part of and trying to communicate what I see. Imagining and Planting seeds...
Kali and our Lady of Guadalupe are chatting over tea! :)
I look forward to what comes of this. They seem a good team. I will do as told.
Mood Identified
Apr. 12th, 2005 12:38 pm
It's only the sweet Kali that wants to come out and play. Hmmmm. I know she is right...but has such Ways of going about things...
Next time you see me coming...
Apr. 11th, 2005 02:06 am..you'd better run.
We're talkin Moods here (notice the capital M?). They're baaaack. First one to recognize the insanity escapes with their life.
I played nice with other humans on Saturday. Be proud. Look how sweet and harmless I can be:
( See? )
We're talkin Moods here (notice the capital M?). They're baaaack. First one to recognize the insanity escapes with their life.
I played nice with other humans on Saturday. Be proud. Look how sweet and harmless I can be:
( See? )
CherryTwisterSuckerPop
Feb. 20th, 2005 10:20 amI present to you the latest in silly hairdos...I will call it the CherryTwisterSuckerPop. Much like my LoopBraided-BirdofParadise (LB-bop) but much easier to create while tipsy. Twist, double up, secure w/cherries and fan out the 'featherflops', Wa-LA!.;)
Add stripey socks and blue boots to otherwise dull outfit and I feel a bit more ready for... Somethin(!?)
After a strange moody day of Inexpressibles, this was quite needed. At first my mood was Railing against leaving my hermitage(as per usual)....but finally I got some work done...and felt able to trick/treat myself into some social sillyfun with B and friends.
Occassion? Bday party and house-warming gathering of some friends we hadn't seen in a while next town over. We dressed up and brought an electric blinking cake-slice and a big plastic salamander (as per the custom of our homeland).( read more )
Add stripey socks and blue boots to otherwise dull outfit and I feel a bit more ready for... Somethin(!?)
After a strange moody day of Inexpressibles, this was quite needed. At first my mood was Railing against leaving my hermitage(as per usual)....but finally I got some work done...and felt able to trick/treat myself into some social sillyfun with B and friends.
Occassion? Bday party and house-warming gathering of some friends we hadn't seen in a while next town over. We dressed up and brought an electric blinking cake-slice and a big plastic salamander (as per the custom of our homeland).( read more )
Inner chambers
Dec. 17th, 2004 02:35 pmI'm going diving again....looking for something..I'm not sure what...following flickering halfsigns...
Impossible (or just difficult) to explain to others...what/why I must do.
Surfing memories...touching...looking through them like files...there- over there- something!Closer.
Me at 16..17...a certain dress...yes..the belt..important...the feeling of the belt..makes me feel grown up?...and it is warm, hot,humid weather...makes a dew on the skin...look at the wall..the cement wall..touch it with fingers..tracing the roughness...sounds..construction going on nearby..muffled..by the air and distance...where am I? Puerto Rico? Florida? Someplace hot..maybe just LI in summer..either way..I'm in.I know how it feels to drink water from a bottle there and have a few drops momentarily cool on the corner of my mouth and then warm as they adjust to my temperature. Flushed face. Why am I here...in this memory...what am I looking for...So many things attached..thinking of the belt, then I can see my white closet, I can see the rug in my old room...ok so I am in my old house now....But where was i before...with the waisthigh concrete wall..outdoors...?
*sigh*
I'm out again. Something nagging me...making soft sounds within some little box in a little room in an inner chamber of my mind.
The shades are drawn. I Pray the phone does not ring again. I need quiet. Space. I hear seagulls...no perhaps crows...the sounds have threads to many other memories and spaces...I flick through them quickly barely tasting. Car sound in the distance..almost triggering a dive...but then the refridgerator hum comes on loud and I'm back up. It is all right here...waiting. The dimensions overlap. I have my hand on the doorknob...
Impossible (or just difficult) to explain to others...what/why I must do.
Surfing memories...touching...looking through them like files...there- over there- something!Closer.
Me at 16..17...a certain dress...yes..the belt..important...the feeling of the belt..makes me feel grown up?...and it is warm, hot,humid weather...makes a dew on the skin...look at the wall..the cement wall..touch it with fingers..tracing the roughness...sounds..construction going on nearby..muffled..by the air and distance...where am I? Puerto Rico? Florida? Someplace hot..maybe just LI in summer..either way..I'm in.I know how it feels to drink water from a bottle there and have a few drops momentarily cool on the corner of my mouth and then warm as they adjust to my temperature. Flushed face. Why am I here...in this memory...what am I looking for...So many things attached..thinking of the belt, then I can see my white closet, I can see the rug in my old room...ok so I am in my old house now....But where was i before...with the waisthigh concrete wall..outdoors...?
*sigh*
I'm out again. Something nagging me...making soft sounds within some little box in a little room in an inner chamber of my mind.
The shades are drawn. I Pray the phone does not ring again. I need quiet. Space. I hear seagulls...no perhaps crows...the sounds have threads to many other memories and spaces...I flick through them quickly barely tasting. Car sound in the distance..almost triggering a dive...but then the refridgerator hum comes on loud and I'm back up. It is all right here...waiting. The dimensions overlap. I have my hand on the doorknob...
