self-discipline woes

[avad]

ok. bit by bit. day by day, right?
Feeling guilty because I get thrown off by superficial things- like having my face all swollen this week.(allergic reaction)and I feel like I've been sleepwalking and utterly non-productive. Don't know what I can eat so I'm hardly eating and have to keep it totally bland and that's no fun- really alerts me to how much I've been addicted to food treats- these flavor 'pick-me-ups' thoughout my days. And coffee with creamer...agh, my love, the longing! But I have to flush my system out...this was a bad attack. It's just starting to go down. Can't wait to recognize myself in the mirror again. This has been quite eerie and depressing.
*sigh* but get PAST IT,girl! I've got to get back to work..I've been so slow, hardly in the studio.at this pace I can't really expect to make a living as an artist and I'll have to go get a job again.(NOOOO!) Self-discipline..tricky thing. You tend to think you're on some sort of vacation..

A woman from a gallery in Connecticut is making a studio visit here this Friday..(!!!). I think I'm ready but wish I had more to show..wish I could pour resin on the almost-done pieces so they would be striking and she could see how they will really look..but it's too cold. Resin pours must wait til Spring.

Comments

[hopeevey.livejournal.com]

sounds to me like you're doing a good job of getting through a tough place. Its all about dealing with where you are, rather there where you think you ought to be, and you seem to be okay with that, too. We all fall behind, get buried, what have you. The trick is to accept where you are and keep going.

>>hugshugs<< (if you don't mind e-hugs:))

Re:

[avad.livejournal.com]

mind them? I NEED them! Thanks for the hugs!!:):)

once_dreams is

[writtenout.livejournal.com]

is now webwriter

and I really don't think looking like a big pink blotchy balloon is superficial. Not that you would look like a big pink blotchy balloon, well not to Brett or those of us who love you - hundreds of us! - Potentially. Maybe disturbing, spirit sapping, (is it a good pink or reddish - like mmmm fuschia?) But NOT superficial.

I never knew that about resin.

Re: once_dreams is

[avad.livejournal.com]

hee. hello, 'webwriter'.;) I'm all better! YAYAY!Could even put a little makeup on this evening and we went out and it was such a strange high to have my 'old' face back, the familiarity, so interesting how all the petty nitpicking disappears when something like this happens and you can completely appreciate your own face, your own regular, recognizable unique face- the best face in the whole world! I felt more confident and sexy than I have in a long time. Someone said I had a 'cowboy strut' in the bookstore.heh.;)

Re: once_dreams is

[writtenout.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're better. :-)