oooh please let this work!

[avad]

I've been moping and dragging and miserable about getting a job. Hitting the streets with my resume and saying all the right things while practically begging with my eyes for them NOT to take me. Reluctant is too soft a word. But despite how swimmingly everything is going with my art career in the realm of exposure, I am now officially terrifyingly flat broke (no cash, nada, change only) and in massive debt. So something Must be done in the way of some regular income, no way around it. Still I avoided calling anyone back for a decision today...hoping for some strange sudden miracle or insight or at least a sense of YES I'll take this one, this is the best choice. Then just now, in the shower (I love showers- geez- thankyou shower!!) finally I got an idea. And I inspected this idea, working it through mentally.... turning it around and upside down and checking for holes...and it seems stunningly...possible! It's not a crazy idea, it's not an idea that will only happen with time...it's just a good regular possibility that I would be happy with. Oh I hope I hope!! I will look into it tomorrow morning and give it a chance. A glimmer of hope! An possible escape from feeling like I'm totally selling out! This I can do without being miserable!! Without having to turn into someone else! I could just be me! *fingers and toes crossed*

UPDATE: Nothing new to report yet except that I'm holding my breath and the suspense is KILLING MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am supposed to call these other people(jobs I don't want but will have to take if this doesn't work) back...and I still don't know whether I can go through with my plan. I called one and bought some more time...but ACK!! Universe! Let me know!!pleeeeez!?
On another note, the hope alone has transformed me. I'm giddy and sparkling in spurts. So that's good. Chips in the funk where the light is shining through superbright!

Comments

[avad.livejournal.com]

thanks sweets