AdverGaming

[avad]

I want to cry.
I knew it was coming. *sigh*
Dreamt this so many years ago...and the feeling of urgency...the questions/challenges...HOW do we use these evolving technologies and the surges of attention/energy for the GOOD of humanity, not just corporate greed?? The same technology has the power to totally change our economic system to symbiotically support areas of great need...developing countries...areas of suffering...The dream indicated that it would have to be emergent WITH the technology...the infrastructure would have to be PREDESIGNED to benefit the charitable organizations...and the launching of it would be immense, collaborative, exciting, heralding a new world possibility...of cooperation. Everyone wanting to be a part of it and to watch it grow.

And now almost 6 years later I've really done nothing (I didn't know HOW- it felt so beyond me!!) and I watch as it all happens...but with the bent we were hoping somehow to avert. the memes propogating here are 'go spend and support our corporate greed' instead of all the beautiful memes that could be reaching the masses.
"There has to be a vision...so compelling...that it thwarts the natural tendency to selfishness...rewiring the pleasure-centers of the brain to connect to benevolent action strongly...a new vision of the self...as part of a benevolent organism...."
And I made artwork with the visions. And I read. And I was inspired..linking, making common interest friends...but...
I never MOVED any of these ideas formally!. And they were shown to me as store and webportal, not painting and dinner chat.The 10% club remains a semisecret vow I've taken personally...instead of a MOVEMENT throught the business sector as it is 'supposed' to be...with cooperating businesses and a web portal to charities. Pier 10 would be a conglomerate of these businesses...in 3d immersive virtual worlds (gaming).
ugh. I feel sick. I don't know how to explain the haunting and heavy feeling of responsibility I feel for something that yes seems totally beyond me. I just want to cry. I don't know how to do this!!!!!!
I don't think I've been able to truly convey to even one person the Magnitude of what I feel relating to this...and I feel horrible and guilty and I dont' want to hear that I shouldn't I want someone to understand that there's something SO important that needs to be DONE!!!!!!!!It feels so late now. Impossible to catch up to the speed of things happening....I just don't know!

fcking sobbing crying my eyes out
sick of not being able to express
sick of myself and my avoidance and my laziness
years years years have gone by
I was made aware of our chance....and did nothing
because it seemed 'too hard, too complicated' to do
and much Much too social, collaborative.
Noooo...darlene wants to be alone and have her peace and quiet...
while everything poises on the shiftpoint
and people around the world suffer
and she's shown a diagram of how to help
a little piece of the puzzle
but it feels to difficult to express
and doesn't make lightning when she tries
so she lets it slide
deprioritized
Deprioritized?
how dare i
*screamsob*

Comments

[seppuku-files.livejournal.com]

A common thing that I have seen in people who involve themselves in martial arts is that they tend to focus on the very physical aspects of it; the practice of martial arts is not merely about who can punch, kick, and block effectively enough to prevent themselves from getting beat up, but that there are philosiphies at work that are designed not just for hand-to-hand combat, but that can (and should be) applied to the war that we are all born into -the war of balance and understanding between those who seek to bring harmony to the universe, and those who seek to bring some semblance of harmony to their own lives, even at the cost of the harmony of the universe, their world, or even the lives they affect in their own plane of existance. And conversely, there are lessons handed down from the masters that may not be getting to those who do not practice (or look into martial arts), that are very applicable today because the core structure of human struggle and contention has not changed so much that the philosiphies they practiced on how to overcome struggles and contentions are not as outdated as people would believe.

And yeah, it's true, we have to make the best out of every generation. And it has been proven time and time again, that when good is tested, it will rise to the occasion and survive the onslaught of terror, destruction, war, misguided intentions, hatred. Our hands are stronger than the hands of those who fear and rush to arrange themselves comfortably in this world, at the cost of the world. They are stronger because they have withstood years and years -fuck, GENERATIONS and GENERATIONS- of being subject to the negative aspects of humanity and still, we use these hands to build, strengthen, enlighten, and evolve. No matter how many times we were pinned down and had our hands broken, we have always come back and forgiven; we have always come back and applied ourselves harder to the betterment of humanity.