AdverGaming
Jan. 18th, 2005 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avadI want to cry.
I knew it was coming. *sigh*
Dreamt this so many years ago...and the feeling of urgency...the questions/challenges...HOW do we use these evolving technologies and the surges of attention/energy for the GOOD of humanity, not just corporate greed?? The same technology has the power to totally change our economic system to symbiotically support areas of great need...developing countries...areas of suffering...The dream indicated that it would have to be emergent WITH the technology...the infrastructure would have to be PREDESIGNED to benefit the charitable organizations...and the launching of it would be immense, collaborative, exciting, heralding a new world possibility...of cooperation. Everyone wanting to be a part of it and to watch it grow.
And now almost 6 years later I've really done nothing (I didn't know HOW- it felt so beyond me!!) and I watch as it all happens...but with the bent we were hoping somehow to avert. the memes propogating here are 'go spend and support our corporate greed' instead of all the beautiful memes that could be reaching the masses.
"There has to be a vision...so compelling...that it thwarts the natural tendency to selfishness...rewiring the pleasure-centers of the brain to connect to benevolent action strongly...a new vision of the self...as part of a benevolent organism...."
And I made artwork with the visions. And I read. And I was inspired..linking, making common interest friends...but...
I never MOVED any of these ideas formally!. And they were shown to me as store and webportal, not painting and dinner chat.The 10% club remains a semisecret vow I've taken personally...instead of a MOVEMENT throught the business sector as it is 'supposed' to be...with cooperating businesses and a web portal to charities. Pier 10 would be a conglomerate of these businesses...in 3d immersive virtual worlds (gaming).
ugh. I feel sick. I don't know how to explain the haunting and heavy feeling of responsibility I feel for something that yes seems totally beyond me. I just want to cry. I don't know how to do this!!!!!!
I don't think I've been able to truly convey to even one person the Magnitude of what I feel relating to this...and I feel horrible and guilty and I dont' want to hear that I shouldn't I want someone to understand that there's something SO important that needs to be DONE!!!!!!!!It feels so late now. Impossible to catch up to the speed of things happening....I just don't know!
fcking sobbing crying my eyes out
sick of not being able to express
sick of myself and my avoidance and my laziness
years years years have gone by
I was made aware of our chance....and did nothing
because it seemed 'too hard, too complicated' to do
and much Much too social, collaborative.
Noooo...darlene wants to be alone and have her peace and quiet...
while everything poises on the shiftpoint
and people around the world suffer
and she's shown a diagram of how to help
a little piece of the puzzle
but it feels to difficult to express
and doesn't make lightning when she tries
so she lets it slide
deprioritized
Deprioritized?
how dare i
*screamsob*
I knew it was coming. *sigh*
Dreamt this so many years ago...and the feeling of urgency...the questions/challenges...HOW do we use these evolving technologies and the surges of attention/energy for the GOOD of humanity, not just corporate greed?? The same technology has the power to totally change our economic system to symbiotically support areas of great need...developing countries...areas of suffering...The dream indicated that it would have to be emergent WITH the technology...the infrastructure would have to be PREDESIGNED to benefit the charitable organizations...and the launching of it would be immense, collaborative, exciting, heralding a new world possibility...of cooperation. Everyone wanting to be a part of it and to watch it grow.
And now almost 6 years later I've really done nothing (I didn't know HOW- it felt so beyond me!!) and I watch as it all happens...but with the bent we were hoping somehow to avert. the memes propogating here are 'go spend and support our corporate greed' instead of all the beautiful memes that could be reaching the masses.
"There has to be a vision...so compelling...that it thwarts the natural tendency to selfishness...rewiring the pleasure-centers of the brain to connect to benevolent action strongly...a new vision of the self...as part of a benevolent organism...."
And I made artwork with the visions. And I read. And I was inspired..linking, making common interest friends...but...
I never MOVED any of these ideas formally!. And they were shown to me as store and webportal, not painting and dinner chat.The 10% club remains a semisecret vow I've taken personally...instead of a MOVEMENT throught the business sector as it is 'supposed' to be...with cooperating businesses and a web portal to charities. Pier 10 would be a conglomerate of these businesses...in 3d immersive virtual worlds (gaming).
ugh. I feel sick. I don't know how to explain the haunting and heavy feeling of responsibility I feel for something that yes seems totally beyond me. I just want to cry. I don't know how to do this!!!!!!
I don't think I've been able to truly convey to even one person the Magnitude of what I feel relating to this...and I feel horrible and guilty and I dont' want to hear that I shouldn't I want someone to understand that there's something SO important that needs to be DONE!!!!!!!!It feels so late now. Impossible to catch up to the speed of things happening....I just don't know!
fcking sobbing crying my eyes out
sick of not being able to express
sick of myself and my avoidance and my laziness
years years years have gone by
I was made aware of our chance....and did nothing
because it seemed 'too hard, too complicated' to do
and much Much too social, collaborative.
Noooo...darlene wants to be alone and have her peace and quiet...
while everything poises on the shiftpoint
and people around the world suffer
and she's shown a diagram of how to help
a little piece of the puzzle
but it feels to difficult to express
and doesn't make lightning when she tries
so she lets it slide
deprioritized
Deprioritized?
how dare i
*screamsob*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-19 03:41 am (UTC)NO MORE COLD!!!
(hee ok that comes from being outside just a bit ago).
ANd I've stopped hitting myself, thank you.
Ran like a crazed rodent on the treadmill at the gym instead. Feel a little better.
Where's my pellet?
:)