Puppetmaster Dream
Dec. 15th, 2004 01:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
avadYesterday morning I had the craziest dream...woke dumbfounded.
I had been part of a group of people sent through a humiliating bootcampish prisoner-ish line-up obstacle course like area. Several guards revelling in their positions of power and making up humiliations as we went a long. Lots of crawling on all fours...heads down, hands over heads, rushing as they laughed.
This went on for quite a while. It was terrible.And part of a whole evil 'revolution' of sorts.
Then somehow I am in a white fairly bright room...and I am gazing at these 3D models....toylike but so UNBELIEVABLY intricate, so unfathomably detailed and precise... a SANE person could NOT have made them. It was the genius obsession of Absolute Madness. In particular I remember looking at this ice realm...with a pond and caves and excrutiatingly intricate patterned/crystal formations in the ice....all this made somehow by hand...with such precision...there were layers...like a large wedding cake...in which other realms were hidden...and on the bottom layer the divisions were vertical slicelike...in mathematical perfection...revealing an inner chamber if looked at from one exact direction. I cannot explain in words how crazy the details were in this. All I can say is that in the dream and then even in waking I still believed/believe it was impossible for someone to even be able to see such a thing...that it was not of this world.
In the dream I knew that the maker was in the room and that he was Insane to such a degree that it was just inhuman....and I lifted my eyes from the models and looked at the face. This man..was the leader of the whole 'system' that was being implemented outside...the reason for the prisoners...the person behind this malignant 'revolution'.His mind was so complex and convoluted...autistic immensely dangerous genius. So many things going through my mind but I felt it important to relay something about my taking in of these models he made..my appreciation despite the obvious madness that made them obviously repugnant somehow. I looked into his eyes with my head cocked to one side...and everything I could not say coming out of my eyes.
And in a sort of quick gasp movement he backed away and disappeared in a flash. Above the white bed where he had been (illness?)was a dark brown wood cubbeyhole, fairly large...and out from that space came a PUPPET-KING....a marionette...wooden and elaborately dressed and painted...(again the vividness of this visual was shocking- I so wish I could share)and the puppet 'looked' at me and began to go into convulsions of some sort. Somehow this triggered a realization in me...and I said to myself "Ah, this is where the Puppetmaster falls in love with the Girl" and I smiled to myself understanding the story I was about to be a part of as if remembering a very rich classic ancient tale.
You see, the 'PuppetMaster' was in fact the Leader-madman...He could not deal with the new emotion that he felt when the girl (played by me)looked at him with the tinge of understanding that he had never experienced before...and so he assigned the experience to one of his split-personalities...in the form of the puppetmaster (which was but one of many but a main one).
And now the drama would have to work itself out...in that there would of course be a battle of sorts between the leader personality and this 'puppet' aspect of himself and all the other personalities...and it would be a long and dramatic story that kept the audience (me also even though I was playing a role) at the edge of their seat. It had more of the quality of The Nutcracker than of a modern tale....I so wish I could play for you those scenes I saw so clearly...
I just don't understand how my mind could have come up with the amount of visual detail it did..
SO CRAZY.
I had been part of a group of people sent through a humiliating bootcampish prisoner-ish line-up obstacle course like area. Several guards revelling in their positions of power and making up humiliations as we went a long. Lots of crawling on all fours...heads down, hands over heads, rushing as they laughed.
This went on for quite a while. It was terrible.And part of a whole evil 'revolution' of sorts.
Then somehow I am in a white fairly bright room...and I am gazing at these 3D models....toylike but so UNBELIEVABLY intricate, so unfathomably detailed and precise... a SANE person could NOT have made them. It was the genius obsession of Absolute Madness. In particular I remember looking at this ice realm...with a pond and caves and excrutiatingly intricate patterned/crystal formations in the ice....all this made somehow by hand...with such precision...there were layers...like a large wedding cake...in which other realms were hidden...and on the bottom layer the divisions were vertical slicelike...in mathematical perfection...revealing an inner chamber if looked at from one exact direction. I cannot explain in words how crazy the details were in this. All I can say is that in the dream and then even in waking I still believed/believe it was impossible for someone to even be able to see such a thing...that it was not of this world.
In the dream I knew that the maker was in the room and that he was Insane to such a degree that it was just inhuman....and I lifted my eyes from the models and looked at the face. This man..was the leader of the whole 'system' that was being implemented outside...the reason for the prisoners...the person behind this malignant 'revolution'.His mind was so complex and convoluted...autistic immensely dangerous genius. So many things going through my mind but I felt it important to relay something about my taking in of these models he made..my appreciation despite the obvious madness that made them obviously repugnant somehow. I looked into his eyes with my head cocked to one side...and everything I could not say coming out of my eyes.
And in a sort of quick gasp movement he backed away and disappeared in a flash. Above the white bed where he had been (illness?)was a dark brown wood cubbeyhole, fairly large...and out from that space came a PUPPET-KING....a marionette...wooden and elaborately dressed and painted...(again the vividness of this visual was shocking- I so wish I could share)and the puppet 'looked' at me and began to go into convulsions of some sort. Somehow this triggered a realization in me...and I said to myself "Ah, this is where the Puppetmaster falls in love with the Girl" and I smiled to myself understanding the story I was about to be a part of as if remembering a very rich classic ancient tale.
You see, the 'PuppetMaster' was in fact the Leader-madman...He could not deal with the new emotion that he felt when the girl (played by me)looked at him with the tinge of understanding that he had never experienced before...and so he assigned the experience to one of his split-personalities...in the form of the puppetmaster (which was but one of many but a main one).
And now the drama would have to work itself out...in that there would of course be a battle of sorts between the leader personality and this 'puppet' aspect of himself and all the other personalities...and it would be a long and dramatic story that kept the audience (me also even though I was playing a role) at the edge of their seat. It had more of the quality of The Nutcracker than of a modern tale....I so wish I could play for you those scenes I saw so clearly...
I just don't understand how my mind could have come up with the amount of visual detail it did..
SO CRAZY.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 12:24 pm (UTC)the weavings...
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 12:33 am (UTC)maybe it's an artist thing, acute visual perception?
dreams can reveal such complicated parts of us, it's amazing how we have them.
i've had the weirdest dreams too. once it was about the end of the world.
last weekend i made a drawing, and i was really good. i make paintings in my dreams sometimes.
it seems to me that we're "less" when we're awake, perhaps numbed by social codes and exterior factors. imagine if our minds had this much freedom when awake. actually, it's unimaginable.
on another theme, do you know the work of andy goldsworthy? i fell in love with it this weekend.
do a full google search sometime, when you're a bit bored, if you don't know him.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 12:47 pm (UTC)I'd love to know more about your dreams...
And let's try to push for that freedom in waking, though it's unimaginable! It's THERE, we tap into it...it's...so close...maybe the duty of the artist somewhat?? Look what I then 'stumbled into just last night!!:dream of a white chamber (http://secondlife.blogs.com/nwn/2004/08/the_dream_of_th.html) !!!
Oh and I LOVE Andy Goldsworthy!!! Absolutely. So inspiring....I want to get B one of the books...because we love looking through them at the bookstore...
At the beach I'm a bit of a pebble sorter...by color...love to put the brightest white ones in the center and sort of grey scale out into yellows and pinks and burgundies....but I can't imagine the continuous focus hours needed to make but one of those masterpieces of his....soon I'm elsewhere, looking at seaweed or writing in my journal...with only a small fuzzy area defined..;)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 09:18 am (UTC)http://www.samiamru.com/painting/ check out #7 as you go to the right. it's a TERRIBLE slide but maybe you can see it? you can right click and zoom in. oh well. someday. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 12:46 pm (UTC)But now I've got a teeny spurt of bravery so PLEASE elaborate. I'm sure it's and endless fall into your brain...but I'll take a few steps down if you'll let me in..?
And yes, I really wish we lived closer too.*sigh*
I think we'd make really good real live activity/collaboration friends too. imagine..
well, I guess we'll just see how it plays out.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 08:07 pm (UTC)the little people are jsut there waiting to get out.my paper people are silly little fellows everyone knows but not as we know them in their daily life it's the way they are when nobody's looking.
really I'm appalling at talking about my art in any way. I'd never be able to give one of those artists discussions and have felt like painting for a living would be very hard if I didn't ahve a line to sell. not that it's a "line" but if I had to make one up it would feel like it to me. ahhh the struggle to communicate without boxing in the viewer from seeing what they want. what people see in my paintings is always sooo much more interesting than what I was thinking or felt. how do I say that in a discussion?
no subject
Date: 2004-12-16 08:22 am (UTC)and the more 'Story' looking ones?
no subject
Date: 2004-12-15 07:50 pm (UTC)It seems that the dream is about avatars and virtuality (is that a word?).
The "real" world of your dreams is harsh, abusive, barbarian. And you become transfixed by these small models, these intricately detailed representations of alternate worlds. And there is a connection between these two. The madness of one being is forming both realities simultaneously.
The convulsions of the puppet are an interesting juxtaposition - a puppet is lifeless, yet animated by a living thing. For a lifeless thing to have "convulsions" is to blur the concept of what is alive. To convulse is to lose control, to be in physical jeapordy. Is it alive as an extension of the living thing, a communication or performance of something more acutely "real" than itself?
And then, the secret knowledge that this is a part in a familiar story that is being played out, and of which you are an actor. It's another layer, and it hints at an underlying UNreality, in a sense. It's a play or performance, and perhaps you are no more or less alive than the puppet, or perhaps these fine graduations of "aliveness" extend forever. Perhaps, through some other lens, we are puppets being manipulated by a force, and perhaps, those that see us in that way are puppets being manipulated, and perhaps, those that see them in that way are puppets being manipulated... the extensive detail and layering of the models could certainly be metaphor for all this.
So the question of alive or not alive, animate or inanimate, fiction or reality, is quite possibly more rhetorical than we imagine. From our vantage point, it certainly seems that the divisions are clear, but perhaps the puppet you dreamed about had a dream about you last night too, in which it was confused and searching for the strings that it didn't see connecting your limbs to a hole in the ceiling.
Fascinating dream! I wish there were dream recorders like in "Until the End of the World."
no subject
Date: 2004-12-16 08:26 am (UTC)I so wish there were dream recorders too. What LJ posts those would make if I could share visually!.
good morning, would you like to witness the dream that just popped my brain? click.;)one day perhaps...*gulp*
no subject
Date: 2004-12-16 09:46 am (UTC)but i have seriously wished for dream recorders too.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-16 10:01 am (UTC)that's a pleasant surprise, I sort of think of myself as coming off as a doofus.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 07:30 pm (UTC)It's not as vivid now in my memory...only snippets...
*sigh* today I've been called hippie and goth.
strange. I don't relate much to either...but I suppose it's all within. I'm in the process of writing you an email now...:)