HammerHumor

[avad]

ok...*chuckle*...I've got to stop this...but I can't.
Some might know I've got a thing for hammers. I mean, I have to, I hammer thousands of nails in my art. I've been using my father's hammer for years now (sentimental reasons) but now it's really falling apart...and since I'm worried about carpal tunnel, I've decided to finally invest in an Anti-Vibe, ergonomic sort of hammer. So I've been doing some research online, before laying out the 30 or 40 bucks.

Now,Just yesterday, at the Lumber yard, I was buying some wood stain because I'm making a frame for a 5 foot piece I'm almost finished with. On the top of the innocent looking little can of stain is a sticker that reads TO AVOID SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION soak soiled rags and waste immediately after use in a water-filled, closed metal container. I stopped. um. mentally going through my garage...plastic bucket, yes, coffee cans- but plastic lids..do I need a metal lid?....I started to worry...I imagined the garage exploding...B's old and muchloved car destroyed....shards flying.
I asked the clerk. And didn't get far...he didn't seem to see the visual of SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION that I did when reading the sticker...he kinda blew it off.
"Just let the stuff air out.Don't put it in anything enclosed." says he.
BUT....it says...
"Yeah," he says, taking another nanosecond glance at the sticker."Water will help...just don't close it.."
But...it says...
*sigh* I let it go.
So now I have this deadly weapon in my house.

OK,now to bring these two lil subjects together, you might understand why coming across THIS ARTICLE made my morning laughter release.
*still chuckling*

Comments

[hopeevey.livejournal.com]

>>giggles!!<<

site safety

[krustacean.livejournal.com]

Hahaha..

I work in the construction business- this was emailed to me:

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.



Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information In Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.


On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident
report form that I weigh 135lbs.



Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.



This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.


Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.


I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.



Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the Barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.



I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.




I hope this answers your inquiry.

Re: site safety

[avad.livejournal.com]

oh god

[lorigami.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!
oh shit... I'm passing this one on...

[darkfader.livejournal.com]

he was right, an explosion REQUIRES a confined space (aka closed container), otherwise, oily rags just burn.

the only reason to put a lid on is maybe to prevent sparks and such from igniting it, but just play it safe and keep fresh air about.

*insert lame hammertime joke here*

[sendao.livejournal.com]

Solid explosives do not require a confined space, because they provide the confined space.

However, oily rags will not explode unless you work REALLY hard to make them.

[avad.livejournal.com]

ok, I'm slow. bear with me. I'd love to really put my mind at ease. the sticker said TO put them in water in a CLOSED metal container. But I should just put them in an Open container with water? this would be in the garage...there are no open windows once I close up for the day- is this a problem? Should I keep the can outside? And what about throwing them out? How do I go about that?

[unluckymonkey.livejournal.com]

AH HAHAHAHA! that's hilarious. I read some funny stuff on labels too. Once I read my jello package and in larger print than even the name of the brand it siad, "DO NOT FREEZE!" so I froze it and called the company. I was transferred all over the place and in the end they had no explanation as to why you shouldn't freeze jello and why the warning exists. Nothing happened to my jello upon thaw. nothing. it was SO disappointing.

[avad.livejournal.com]

my god, hon, are you suicidal??? Freezing jello summons the DEEEMONNNNNSSS! they can't resist jellocubes!
*shakes head*
never safe...never safe...

[zensaru.livejournal.com]

Here is the scoop.

'Spontaneous combustion' is when the rags burst in to flame without benefit of you or anyone else playing with matches nearby.

How it works: As the oil/stain/solvent oxidizes, the reaction produces heat. If the rags are in a closed container, the heat is prevented from leaving the vicinity, allowing the temperature of the rags to rise.

Given a sufficient quantity of oil/stain/solvent in a small enough container, the temperature could conceivably rise high enough to ignite the rags.

So, to eliminate this possiblity, limit one of the factors: less oil/stain/solvent on the rags, less oxygen available to react, or a larger container.

In my experince, it's pretty hard to have this problem unless you really try to make it happen. I suggest making sure you end up with rags that have as little oil/stain/solvent as possible (i.e. use it up) and that you consider the water solution if you are still worried.

[[[Dropping them in an open air dumpster down on the street when it's raining wouldn't hurt. Lighting them on fire as you toss them in the dumpster is not recommended, but it would limit the amount of oil/stain/solvent available to spontaneously combust :) ]]]

Getting them out of your apartment/workspace is the best idea in any case, especially since you should be concerned about ventilation.

Hope this helps.

[avad.livejournal.com]

MUCH thanks!!:) will do.

[sibyllam.livejournal.com]

I have visions of spontaneous combustion as well since Jenn has so many flamable photo chemicals around. Pretty much anything used in photography should be sold with a free fire extinguisher. And a gas mask.

But to date, no fires----uh, not from photo chemicals anyway. I did light the kitchen stove on fire by turning on the wrong burner. The house behind my parents burned down when I was 10 and rained hot ash all over us. And I did have my pick-up truck spontaneously combust in the parking lot of my work........

I think I'm beginning to see where my fear of fire has come from....

[avad.livejournal.com]

geez I'd sure have a fear as well!!!
I have a certain rational amount of fear of lightning...due to the fact of my house getting struck when I was eleven. Holy moly what that stuff can do!

[sibyllam.livejournal.com]

I have a fear but also a fascination with lightening. Unfortunately (or fortunately) there is VERY rarely any lightening around here. But I remember watching it on my Grandparents' farm in Oklahoma. It could be miles away, but because the land was so flat, you could still see it hit the ground (or a tree, house, etc.).

[avad.livejournal.com]

oh definitely. In Louisiana I used to go out on the screened porch and just watch for as long as I could (if it wasn't toooo windy). Here I feel pretty safe too...since it's a ranch house and far from the tallest thing around. I don't like being on the second floor of any 2-story house during a bad storm though...If my sister had not come downstairs when she did, she would've been toast.

[sibyllam.livejournal.com]

WOW! I've never come that close to lightening!

[anansi133.livejournal.com]

That link to the prank call reminds me of how little I enjoy that kind of humor, especially when I've been on the receiving end of some bart simpson-wannabe's idea of humor. When you're being paid at the bottom end of the wage scale and some dope calls to deliberately waste your time, it makes sense to kick the call upstairs as quickly as possible, since it's management that these peons want to absorb sticky messy humor, not themselves. (that didn't come out right. whatever.)

I remember being paranoid about empty gas cans, after watching a TV show where it was revealsed that empty gasoline containers are more dangerous than full ones, if people aren['t paying attention. Ugh. You can't get out of bed any more without having to sign a release.

[avad.livejournal.com]

thanx

[rokkitz.livejournal.com]

i think they meant that unless you put the oily rags in a confined space, YOU will spontaneously combust. i think it's based on some sort of quantum interference interlocutomer, acting as a magnet at the bottom of a probability sink... you're supposed to rub the side of the hammer in a counterclockwise fashion with a silk cloth and spit three times before use, to lower the incidence of spontaneous combustion. the best prevention ritual i've heard is to petition the gods directly for their favour, usually by burning some incense or throwing lit matches on the floor.

[avad.livejournal.com]

you hate me.
I'm going to go cry now.
it's not true! You just want me to spontaneously combust.
waahhhhh.
I thought we were frienz.
killer.
how can I trust you again

[rokkitz.livejournal.com]

i blame the devil!