Escape

[avad]

So I started washing the dishes...had every intention of finishing, really I did...but I became mesmerized by the mesh of the window screen.....my eyes focusing beyond until the screen disappeared, then refocusing on the screen til all else disappeared. Had to fetch the camera...I'll call this 'Escape'.

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Re: 'Escape'

[avad.livejournal.com]

Well, that would be the Second image I mentioned quickly...for me it is a place beyond words, I have tried to convey sometimes and get frustrated by the triteness of the phrases, but here goes:it is not the landscape that changes of course but the seer, and suddenly my Connection to everything is quite 'different'. Just 3 days ago I cried with joy as the vision/feeling 'returned' to me. FOr the first time in a long while (since B's injury) I was alone in the house. The computer mysteriously shut down all of a sudden and the silence of the house descended on me like a loud familiar song. I felt 'beckoned' to the window and I sat backwards on the couch facing it, wondering for a moment if I would 'be able' to meditate. But there was no need to worry of course, because it was like being embraced. As I looked out at the trees, a completely grey sky broke into bits of a most incredible blue. A blue I hadn't seen in a long time. Not a particularly Vivid or bright blue, but a special blue somehow, the exact shade of which brought me to remember sitting this way at two other exact times, in two other houses. And as I looked on the blue spread until there where no clouds left. THis in a matter of minutes.And the late afternoon sun cast a brilliant orange on the top branches of the trees so it looked as though they had caught fire...and I was startled with a feeling so strong, it was the familiar loving face of my God staring at me as the world. And the realization (how many times can I remember and forget!) that it has been there all along, the ludicrous knowing that I am riding on a magical donkey, searching impatiently for a magical donkey...that I am not ABLE to be separate from God, I am only having fits of blindness and amnesia. And I cried and cried at the intensity of it which I must admit always scares me a bit...because...I am only half-ready to devote myself to it, clinging as I am to so many other things. But mostly the feeling is a joy, a sublime remembering....
Is that what you were asking about? I don't really see it as escape but waking.