Search

thinking...about the search through something like LJ for a 'friend'- how would you visualize that process of random or linked reading of messages that are sent out to no 'One' destination but are there to look through....until you find someone's thoughts that intrigue you or connect with something in you enough to interact...

I picture looking down on the Earth at all these points and being able to listen in at random to 'thought broadcasts', one by chosen one, looking, searching...checking in on some friends and family, making sure everyone's ok...then looking on, listening in, swimming about...offering a bit of comfort if you come across someone in pain or particularly lonely, looking, learning about life from all different perspectives as you go, looking...:)

The colors could also indicate mood, tone, emotional state. If you wanted to find someone who was in a certain state of mind at the right time...You would SEE anger,loneliness, peace, confusion, in all the variety of shades of emotion blinking like city lights below...Here is someone who is ready to take a chance with life...someone whose heart just opened up...and they want to be of service to the world...see the color of that? Now go on down and listen in...

The Strangest Dream

I've decided to share the dream I had on 3/5/2002 . It ranks up there with,if not surpasses all the crazy powerful dreams I've had in my life. It has helped me to understand something I have been longing to understand...

Upon waking I wrote down as much as I could remember, but of course much of the detail is lost. I remember it as a much more detailed and action-packed dream...but this is the gist:

THE DREAM:

I am on the verge of figuring IT all out (the big picture, understanding/seeing IT- how the universe works-how to utilize the infinite energy of the universe)....like an amazing puzzle I have been working on for years and years. At this point others know I am working on it and I am being watched and spied on by powerful groups who all want the 'answer' for their own purposes.

I am indoors, surrounded by people rushing this way and that....I am not sure who to trust or who is trying to stand in my way. I know I must try to concentrate and ignore everyone in a way.

I have a box- a printed cardboard contraption folded into a complex shape...printed with diagrams and maps and such (Buckminster Fuller?) that is an important part of the puzzle. The printed matter is not my own, but the organization of it into this shape was something that felt new and relevent. A woman is asking me questions about the box...and I am answering her as I go about my business of trying to figure out more. But then I notice a hovering craft above the building that is taking pictures of the boxthing through a skylight window. I then realize this woman has been trying to distract me while this happens. So I get up, walk over to the boxthing, pick it up and relocate it to an area where it is obstructed from the view of the skylight. For some reason I know that noone can really STOP me, they just can try to distract me into giving the information somehow. This is because there is some sort of a time countdown and the moment is very soon when all must fall into place. I am the closest to solving the puzzle, so these others are just watching and trying to understand what I'm figuring out as I go about it, so that they can ACT on the 'answer' before I can. (Incidentally, this all relates to a dream I had more than 2 years ago where I was told I needed to figure this thing out, and that in the wrong hands it could be used for selfish power instead of for the good of humanity).

Anyway, so the moment is approaching and I don't feel any closer to figuring out what I'm supposed to DO.....

But then I feel a change inside me...a feeling like I'm not in control...but that I have a ROLE- and whatever it is that WANTS to happen is going to make sure that I do the right thing. So I feel this AMAZING sensation- this excitement AND this feeling of LETTING GO/SURRENDERING to it....which is part of the answer. A kind of confidence/FAITH that without ever 'holding' the whole answer in my mind I can trust in it...and be a part of it..

And then my father appears. And he hands me two things. One is a crude wooden tool of some sort, (a bit like one of those perfume bottle stoppers with the long tapered end which dips into the bottle?) but of VERY old, very chunky wood. And the other is a telephone.

And he looks at me strangely and says with deliberate slowness: "Verena called. ... Why don't you call her back?" Verena is a new friend who I feel a strong strange love for as if she is somehow my own child who came to me, as if she were somehow born out of my chest. It is hard to explain the quickness and the depth of our friendship. But in the dream I know by looking in my father's eyes that this is part of the answer. I take both objects from his hands. The wooden thing must be some sort of key....but it is so crude that it just does not seem to go with the modern printed Buckminster Fuller cardboard thing, though previously I (and everyone else) assumed that the box was the most important part of the puzzle. Now I suddenly knew it had nothing to do with high-tech stuff....I knew of an old schooldesk in the other room...and so with almost no time remaining I walked straight to it, hoping this was 'right'...and with just a bit of nervous doubt I inserted the tool into a hole I saw in the front of the desk. The wood was so old and brittle I was afraid it would break with the turning, but I turned it like a key...and the desk opened.

Inside was a large white chamber (much larger and more modern than could be 'inside' that ancient small desk) and within this clean space was only one thing- a sort of rolled up white tape (like a ticket roll shape or old-style measuring tape) with writing on it.

I felt the energy all around and within me- an 'it's happening right now' feeling that is impossible to describe in all it's overwhelming, hairs-on-end,Ultimate moment exciting vibrating intensity. I understood that I needed to call Verena on the telephone, that I needed to be connected to her while I read this tape. That everything was in place right now for an activation and the connection WAS the activation, like an electrical cord in a socket to turn on a complex lighting system that extended throughout our known reality.

Someone tried to get me to say what the writing was on the tape...someone I knew....but I realized it was a trap and that I had to connect with Verena specifically before reading it. So I dialed...and she said "Hello?"...

...and I held the tape and started to unwind it reading it aloud to her as the energies rushed and seemed to form themselves around me and everywhere...

and it said:

VERENA, I JUST HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM...

and I was crying reading it, realizing the simplicity,the loop, the timelessness,spacelessness of all that was occurring and had always been occurring and was everything I could hope or imagine...that the infinite energy resource is in the connection between people, the giving of oneself to the moment with a surrender and an open heart, of letting the current move through you to others, riding on words but not BEING words....what is happening is MUCH MUCH MORE.

THIS DREAM IS TRUE.

much love, avaD

Tornadoes

Last night I dreamt of tornadoes ripping apart a city...a group of us watching..no time to flee, no where to go...we watched it tear through the street next to us...debris flying, windows shattering...
and then it was over. gone. the sunlight strange. We were spared. I worried about the people in the buildings..called down into a basement bar where I had seen people flee into...but I was afraid my voice alone might unsettle some precariously hanging wall.

LJ Match

I had assumed that this LJ Match thing that was spreading like wildfire was a program that filtered through all the interest lists of LJ users to give you links to the people who score the most interest matches with you.
I was terribly disappointed to see the questionnaire...one of my pet peeves is this a or b, true/false crap that seems untrue and vague and useless whichever way you answer. Ergh. I started it out of curiousity and then gave up in disgust. Does anyone know if what I mentioned in the first sentence exists? THAT seems quite simple and logical.