It's Spring and I'm Alive!

It's spring, I tell you. It sounds different. The birds are all chattering and singing outside. I feed Mr.Meow-Fishy lovingly (I swear his eyes seem more like a whale's eyes than any small fish..they seem intelligent..penetrating). Start the coffee and I go to the couch and look outside.....watching the activity in the backyard...the squirrel with only half a tail running this way and that, eating acorns off the ground. A group of starlings make their way across the yard in such a synchronized way one would question whether it was one organism. The light on the leaves of the nearest bush exposes a tender moist green life that makes my gaze feel oddly intrusive,as if I've uncovered a nest of sleeping baby hairless mice. Life, painfully vulnerable and exquisite. Do we dare look right at it?

I open the window, completely, so there is no barrier between me and the yard.I am grinning with the delight of a madman, perhaps. This is not the behavior of a proper, responsible adult. I should be busy DOING something,something to make money of course, and at the very least cleaning and fixing. Not just enjoying the light as if I've never seen it before, the sounds of birds,airplane hums, trucks and barking dogs as if I'm at the best concert in the world. And tears? I really must be MAD. Or maybe, just maybe, the world is crazy, and I'm crazy only when I'm NOT like this, when I rush around and miss the very point- that I'm alive- and can see- and can hear - and smell -and that this moment is absolutely and utterly the best moment.