Thankgoodness...something popped today. The murkymoods that have been clouding me and the lack of motivation.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to walk around like that. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to waste away in soulsucking job. It's a trap. I haven't figured it out yet...how to do it, how to make a living...but this isn't the way. I have too much to give in this life to get caught in a trap that barely pays the bills, does nothing good for the world and saps all my energy. I've created this situation with selfdoubt and SOmehow I'm getting out. I'm going to do what I came here for...explode with creativity and help make good things happen. I've got a ton of stuff up my sleeve, world. And it's going to be fun whooeeEE. No time to waste not being myself. WHo knows how much time we've got here. Crying shame if I don't give it my best shot.
Finally a good day in the studio...got into a flow...windows open, Cibo Matto Viva La Woman on repeat, repeat. Resin pour on 6 baby pieces I've been working so slowly on.

Ideas, ideas and more ideas....I've got no money but I'm going to buy art materials anyway. Spring has sprung.. I can feel it in my bones...and I remember what it's like to paint with a breeze coming through the studio. It's fucking marvelous.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT to walk around like that. LIFE IS TOO SHORT to waste away in soulsucking job. It's a trap. I haven't figured it out yet...how to do it, how to make a living...but this isn't the way. I have too much to give in this life to get caught in a trap that barely pays the bills, does nothing good for the world and saps all my energy. I've created this situation with selfdoubt and SOmehow I'm getting out. I'm going to do what I came here for...explode with creativity and help make good things happen. I've got a ton of stuff up my sleeve, world. And it's going to be fun whooeeEE. No time to waste not being myself. WHo knows how much time we've got here. Crying shame if I don't give it my best shot.
Finally a good day in the studio...got into a flow...windows open, Cibo Matto Viva La Woman on repeat, repeat. Resin pour on 6 baby pieces I've been working so slowly on.

Ideas, ideas and more ideas....I've got no money but I'm going to buy art materials anyway. Spring has sprung.. I can feel it in my bones...and I remember what it's like to paint with a breeze coming through the studio. It's fucking marvelous.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-11 11:28 pm (UTC)When you walk your own path you invigorate yourself and the world. You show others that there are more possibilities for them. I always thought of you as the beacon of light type.... :)
I too have the same feelings about jobs as you do. That is why I wanted to study how to program games. Yet even this is pretty dreary and worrisome work. I am currently working under contract and hate the deadlines. Hate working under someone's specifications. Well, maybe not hate, but it is stressful.
I definitely haven't found my bliss.... or if I have, I must not have noticed it for what it was. I wish you all the luck and success in the world, because truly life is worth so much more than giving it away in a soul-sucking piece of shit job.
no subject
Date: 2006-04-11 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-12 01:09 pm (UTC)and grrrrrrrl i'm feeling it tooooo!!! *wink*
i'm glad to hear your doing your thang! as only as YOU can do!!!
***huGs***
enjoy that breeze through your studio windows!!!
xx ~t!
no subject
Date: 2006-04-12 03:51 pm (UTC)We'll figure it out, eh? Flow and creativity and Life. and not forgetting. It's so absurdly incredible to be alive on a whirling lil ball of a planet in the midst of of a zillion stars...sad to get so caught up in the petty things and depressed and forgetful. muchlove. May you have all the guidance, support, and opportunities you could ever want or need as well. :) Let's see if we can turn things upside down around here...it's all scripts in the mayamatrix...we just forget we're still running old errors;)
no subject
Date: 2006-04-12 03:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-12 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-12 06:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-13 09:53 am (UTC)just being yourself is a full-time job
we should only have to "work" 10% of the time ;o)