Feb. 15th, 2004

avad: (Default)
It's crazy. I feel this excited electric TENSION when putting together ideas for my new body of work. It's a discomfort really, but verging on Something. At Borders last night I felt the extreme and literal desire to EAT the images from books that matched what I was looking for...in some desperate attempt to retain the relevant aspects of them and to mix them with all that is already brewing within me. I refrained of course, but I'm not joking, it gets like this. I feel desperate, impatient, delerious, half mad.
I want to swallow spaces, restaurants, the cafe, and give birth to them in hybrid form.
And something...something tells me it's almost dangerous. That to even make maps and abstract symbols of these spaces will bring them forth with all the ghosts and possiblities inherent in space itself, all the past and the present and future. That we will all get lost...lost again. But I can't remember if that's a bad thing or the only game in town and the reason we are all here.
But this is IT right now.
My favorite feeling.
Inspiration and something pushing me..
on the edge, off the edge
of everything.
I could scream
But that wouldn't get it out.
So I have to make art.

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