AdverGaming

[avad]

I want to cry.
I knew it was coming. *sigh*
Dreamt this so many years ago...and the feeling of urgency...the questions/challenges...HOW do we use these evolving technologies and the surges of attention/energy for the GOOD of humanity, not just corporate greed?? The same technology has the power to totally change our economic system to symbiotically support areas of great need...developing countries...areas of suffering...The dream indicated that it would have to be emergent WITH the technology...the infrastructure would have to be PREDESIGNED to benefit the charitable organizations...and the launching of it would be immense, collaborative, exciting, heralding a new world possibility...of cooperation. Everyone wanting to be a part of it and to watch it grow.

And now almost 6 years later I've really done nothing (I didn't know HOW- it felt so beyond me!!) and I watch as it all happens...but with the bent we were hoping somehow to avert. the memes propogating here are 'go spend and support our corporate greed' instead of all the beautiful memes that could be reaching the masses.
"There has to be a vision...so compelling...that it thwarts the natural tendency to selfishness...rewiring the pleasure-centers of the brain to connect to benevolent action strongly...a new vision of the self...as part of a benevolent organism...."
And I made artwork with the visions. And I read. And I was inspired..linking, making common interest friends...but...
I never MOVED any of these ideas formally!. And they were shown to me as store and webportal, not painting and dinner chat.The 10% club remains a semisecret vow I've taken personally...instead of a MOVEMENT throught the business sector as it is 'supposed' to be...with cooperating businesses and a web portal to charities. Pier 10 would be a conglomerate of these businesses...in 3d immersive virtual worlds (gaming).
ugh. I feel sick. I don't know how to explain the haunting and heavy feeling of responsibility I feel for something that yes seems totally beyond me. I just want to cry. I don't know how to do this!!!!!!
I don't think I've been able to truly convey to even one person the Magnitude of what I feel relating to this...and I feel horrible and guilty and I dont' want to hear that I shouldn't I want someone to understand that there's something SO important that needs to be DONE!!!!!!!!It feels so late now. Impossible to catch up to the speed of things happening....I just don't know!

fcking sobbing crying my eyes out
sick of not being able to express
sick of myself and my avoidance and my laziness
years years years have gone by
I was made aware of our chance....and did nothing
because it seemed 'too hard, too complicated' to do
and much Much too social, collaborative.
Noooo...darlene wants to be alone and have her peace and quiet...
while everything poises on the shiftpoint
and people around the world suffer
and she's shown a diagram of how to help
a little piece of the puzzle
but it feels to difficult to express
and doesn't make lightning when she tries
so she lets it slide
deprioritized
Deprioritized?
how dare i
*screamsob*

Comments

[seppuku-files.livejournal.com]

And DAMN, do I fucking feel you when it comes to that sense of urgency. Too many times, I've lost patience with myself, feeling like I'm so far behind in my own personal evolution that I can't possibly be of any use to the world and the betterment of it, to the positive growth and evolution of humanity and society. I really do feel you, D. I feel these things every waking hour of every day of my life -no exaggeration. When I was about ten years old, my father told me "There's going to be a revolution in your lifetime, and YOU have to be the one to lead it. Our generation fucked up; our time is passed. It's all up to you." Those words wrapped themselves around my heart and mind, and I remember them all the time, and sometimes those words crushed the wind from my lungs with feelings of helplessness, feeling like the world is too big of a thing for me to move with my tiny little hands.

And it is. But it is not meant to be moved by my hands alone.

If we intend to get this ship to shore, and out of the dangers of watery graves, and storms that would rip it apart leaving no trace of how far we've come, EVERYBODY must row.

But how do we get them to row? By pointing machineguns in their faces and telling them that they "Have To"? Nah man, you know that it's up to folks like us, using our tools of articulation to explain the necessity of the rowing, using what gifts were given to us who CAN translate the intangible things into bite-sized morsels for those who can't see the invisible, and through our modelling of such things as intelligence, honor, respect, growth, evolution vs. stagnation, to convince those with oars (which really is everyone on the planet) to row, and row for shore! Steadily but surely, we will make it. Even if there are those who jump ship, even if there are those who cannot make it and die, those of us who have been rowing since the earliest days will -and DO- have the strength to row for more that our occupied seat, and we bolster that strength as well as gloify it to the others who are like us, especially in front of those who would doubt or question their own strength, or waver at the fear that "this boat may never make it to dry land."

WE ARE THE ONES THAT KEEP THIS THING ALIVE.

And we MUST remember lessons like that which is written by Yamamoto Tsunetomo, in the second chapter of the Hagakure:

It is said that what is called "the spirit of an age" is something to which one cannot return. That this spirit gradually dissipates is due to the world's coming to an end. In the same way, a single year does not have just spring or summer. A single day, too, is the same.
For this reason, although one would like to change today's world back to the spirit of one hundred years or more ago, it cannot be done. Thus it is important to make the best out of every generation. This is the mistake of people who are attached to past generations. They have no understanding of this point.
On the other hand, people who only know the disposition of the present day and dislike the ways of the past are too lax.

Be true to the thought of the moment and avoid distraction. Other than continuing to exert yourself, enter into nothing else, but go to the extent of living single thought by single thought.

[avad.livejournal.com]

unbelievably gorgeous. *sigh* THANK YOU Ed.
you really...*sigh*...your words..

it worked.:)