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Entry tags:
HammerHumor
ok...*chuckle*...I've got to stop this...but I can't.
Some might know I've got a thing for hammers. I mean, I have to, I hammer thousands of nails in my art. I've been using my father's hammer for years now (sentimental reasons) but now it's really falling apart...and since I'm worried about carpal tunnel, I've decided to finally invest in an Anti-Vibe, ergonomic sort of hammer. So I've been doing some research online, before laying out the 30 or 40 bucks.
Now,Just yesterday, at the Lumber yard, I was buying some wood stain because I'm making a frame for a 5 foot piece I'm almost finished with. On the top of the innocent looking little can of stain is a sticker that reads TO AVOID SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION soak soiled rags and waste immediately after use in a water-filled, closed metal container. I stopped. um. mentally going through my garage...plastic bucket, yes, coffee cans- but plastic lids..do I need a metal lid?....I started to worry...I imagined the garage exploding...B's old and muchloved car destroyed....shards flying.
I asked the clerk. And didn't get far...he didn't seem to see the visual of SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION that I did when reading the sticker...he kinda blew it off.
"Just let the stuff air out.Don't put it in anything enclosed." says he.
BUT....it says...
"Yeah," he says, taking another nanosecond glance at the sticker."Water will help...just don't close it.."
But...it says...
*sigh* I let it go.
So now I have this deadly weapon in my house.
OK,now to bring these two lil subjects together, you might understand why coming across THIS ARTICLE made my morning laughter release.
*still chuckling*
Some might know I've got a thing for hammers. I mean, I have to, I hammer thousands of nails in my art. I've been using my father's hammer for years now (sentimental reasons) but now it's really falling apart...and since I'm worried about carpal tunnel, I've decided to finally invest in an Anti-Vibe, ergonomic sort of hammer. So I've been doing some research online, before laying out the 30 or 40 bucks.
Now,Just yesterday, at the Lumber yard, I was buying some wood stain because I'm making a frame for a 5 foot piece I'm almost finished with. On the top of the innocent looking little can of stain is a sticker that reads TO AVOID SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION soak soiled rags and waste immediately after use in a water-filled, closed metal container. I stopped. um. mentally going through my garage...plastic bucket, yes, coffee cans- but plastic lids..do I need a metal lid?....I started to worry...I imagined the garage exploding...B's old and muchloved car destroyed....shards flying.
I asked the clerk. And didn't get far...he didn't seem to see the visual of SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION that I did when reading the sticker...he kinda blew it off.
"Just let the stuff air out.Don't put it in anything enclosed." says he.
BUT....it says...
"Yeah," he says, taking another nanosecond glance at the sticker."Water will help...just don't close it.."
But...it says...
*sigh* I let it go.
So now I have this deadly weapon in my house.
OK,now to bring these two lil subjects together, you might understand why coming across THIS ARTICLE made my morning laughter release.
*still chuckling*
site safety
I work in the construction business- this was emailed to me:
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information In Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.
On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident
report form that I weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the Barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Re: site safety